Ramadan is just around the corner (in shaa Allah!), but it appears like we are most likely to spend this much-awaited month the way we did last year: on community quarantine.
Yes, it is normal to feel sad, perhaps even frustrated; after all, we miss the traditional gatherings for iftar and even taraweeh. If this is difficult for us grownups, what more for our children who need a lot of outdoor time and interactive play for their development, right?
Below are some tips to make the most of Ramadan with our families even when there’s a pandemic.
Teach the kids the reasons why we have to follow the enforced community quarantines. Often, allowing our children to understand the why’s makes it easier for them to follow rules. And we’re not talking about the ‘because the government says so’ or ‘because the IATF says so’ reply, which honestly may just leave them even more frustrated. A better way would be to explain to our children how staying at home is connected to our responsibilities as Muslims:
- Protection of one’s life – Allah has given us life, and part of our responsibility (and worship) is to value and care for our lives as much as we can in a way that is pleasing to Him. This is not just about eating halal and avoiding grave sins such as suicide, but also refraining from habits and daily activities that would put our life and well-being in danger. We all know that the new strains of the coronavirus are more infectious and that our healthcare system is already overwhelmed. Imagine if we get infected because of our own reckless behavior and no hospital would accept us and no out-patient treatment options available, na’udhubillah (we seek refuge in Allah). Thus, we must do everything we can to protect ourselves while trusting in Him. Staying at home and avoiding social gatherings while maintaining excellent personal (and spiritual) hygiene is the best we can do right now to protect ourselves from this pandemic and to show Allah that we are grateful to Him for the life that we have.
- Communal identity and responsibility – It is not just about our own lives, actually. It’s about the people around us, too. Have you noticed how Islam promotes and gives importance to unity and brotherhood? We are people of the shahada (i.e., we believe that there is no god but Allah and that Prophet Muhammad [peace and blessings be upon him ﷺ] is His Messenger ), and as people making up one ummah, Allah encourages us to connect with one another in so many ways: He rewards us more when we perform salah in congregation in most cases, He considers each act of kindness as sadaqah (charity) and rewards us for it, He makes zakat (alms-giving) a pillar of Islam which helps strengthen ties of people across socioeconomic classes, He makes us realize through sawm (fasting) the hardship endured by those who can barely have one good meal a day, and He invites us to perform Hajj which again gives us an opportunity to see how one we are regardless of race, gender and age, subhanAllah! Reflecting on and learning from these acts, we should see that staying at home during a pandemic is part of our identity and responsibility as Muslims. By obeying the protocols and going out only if truly needed, we are protecting not just ourselves and our families but others, too. Imagine if we infect others because we attended risky gatherings: what will happen to them? What will happen to their families? What will happen to their colleagues? How sure are we that we did not trespass the rights of our brothers and sisters?
- Reviving a sunnah – Narrated Saud: The Prophet (ﷺ) said, “If you hear of an outbreak of plague in a land, do not enter it; but if the plague breaks out in a place while you are in it, do not leave that place.” At a time when a lot of people have become heedless, staying at home and avoiding moving from one place to another during a pandemic can be considered an act of reviving this forgotten sunnah. In shaa Allah we will be rewarded for observing this, and whenever we’re able to encourage someone else to perform it, we’ll be rewarded, too! We love the Prophet Muhammad (ﷺ), right? So why not follow his ways?
If we connect staying at home with our responsibilities as Muslims and perform it with the ultimate intention of seeking Allah’s pleasure, imagine how much gain we are making all throughout Ramadan, in shaa Allah!
Conduct SHURA (Consultation). As part of regular family consultations, why not gather the kids before Ramadan to reflect on last year’s Ramadan and discuss what to repeat (what did they love most in last year’s Ramadan activities?), what to avoid and/or improve (what should be removed in the list of activities or what could be done better?), and what to add (do they have new ideas or have they seen some interesting activities online which they’d like to try this year?). This consultation can also be a good opportunity to engage them in a discussion on the relationship of Ramadan to taqwa (piety) and all the other virtues related to it (e.g, frugality, patience, discipline, steadfastness).
Establish schedules and routines. Schedules and routines help us cope better during challenging times. They lessen our tendency to be alone with boredom, sadness, fear or anger, as we become preoccupied with other tasks. Some adjustments may be made especially for young ones who’ve just started fasting, but making sure that there is a schedule or a daily routine will help us and our children make the most of this fruitful month, in shaa Allah. If we can again connect these routines with the different roles we play daily and the importance of having them, sticking to them may just become easier, too, in shaa Allah.
Encourage an AMAL SALIH list. Knowing how much we can earn for the Hereafter during the month of Ramadan, let’s encourage our children to make their own daily checklist of good deeds. Come up with a surprise reward system that takes into account their expressed intention to perform it (especially for the little ones who often say they’re going to fast yet still find it physiologically and mentally hard), their efforts, and their actual accomplishments every week. Aside from individual lists, why not come up with a group checklist, too? Salah and taraweeh at home? Qur’an and hadith memorization? Getting to know the anbiya (prophets) and the sahaba (companions of Prophet Muhammad ﷺ)? Cooking and sponsoring a neighbor’s iftar? The list goes on…
Involve them in the ‘EID’L FITR preparations. Yes, there might not be any house-hopping and ‘Eid parties again this year, but it’s not an excuse to not make this special day a beautiful and memorable occasion for the whole family. Again, engage the whole family in planning and preparing for ‘Eid. What are their ideas? For those who have homeschoolers, making ‘Eid decors can be both Art class and family bonding time. And on ‘Eid day itself, some have online parties through video conference calls (hey, it is the age of Zoom, Google Meet, and FB Messenger Rooms anyway!) while others have indoor games at home. Oh, may I suggest that we surprise our children with those old-fashioned letters or cards in which we get to tell them how proud we are of the Muslim/Muslimah they’ve become (and continue to become) as they sail through trying times with faith? (You get the idea, right?)
These are just some tips which we pray you find beneficial, in shaa Allah. May Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala reward you for your patience and efforts in making your children conscious of and closer to Him, especially during these trying times. Ameen.
اَللّهُمَّ بَارِكْ لَنَا فِى شَعْبَانَ وَ بَلِّغْنَا رَمَضَان
O, Allah! Bless us in Sha’ban and allow us to reach Ramadan.
Ameen.